The Blog Of Dysfunction

vonbergen.net

Whats special about a child’s smile is that it’s unconditional.

Photo Credit 1. Hard hard part of nature…, 2. Forlorn Siblings, 3. dead animal on the beach, 4. land of the dead, 5. mumbai blasts, 6. Public Domain: Dead Japanese Soldiers on Guam, July 1944 by Paul Dorsey (NARA), 7. The Final Leap, 8. San Francisco Earthquake 1906, 9. disbelief, 10. Julieta is back!, 11. daffodil, 12. 800.000 votes of confidence…, 13. It’s breathtaking!

Cause we all just want to be big Rockstars,
And live in Hilltop Houses driven fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap,
We’ll all stay skinny cause we just won’t eat,

From a song by nickleback; Rockstar.

I like this song because its one hell of a song to air guitar to and, as a friend pointed out today it is quiet profound. Quick gains, untold wealth, lavish lifestyle, being totally cool and hot, looking good, having great freinds, being important and admired, low investment, high returns, arent those our dreams? Dont we get tired of being ordinary? What are we willing to do for this end?

I’m gonna trade this life for fortune and fame,
I’d even cut my hair and change my name

Hey I wanna be a rockstar.

photo by Fanboy30

Margret Atwood is the sort of author who you read and wish there was a worldwide prize for pure awesomeness. She would undoubtedly win. My Atwood journey began in final year of med school when a friend lent me a copy of the blind assassin. This is a novel within a novel about the protagonist, Iris  who narrates the multiple life stories of her sister, her husband and the novel within the novel. I was hooked five words into the novel, and missed most of my lectures in the following days. Since then she has taken Tolkien’s place on my list. Fortunate for me was the discovery of blossoms, an out-of-the-world used-book shop in Bangalore that I hope I will write about soon. They had Atwood, several of her books and all affordable to the medical student.

I have finished five of her novels so far and am hoping to get my hands on the other stuff too. I was hoping as I planned this post, that a beautiful description of her protagonists and a description of why I can so love them, and understand them would flow from my eager finger tips, but alas, my pen is rusty and keyboard sore, i must rest for this exercise is tiring me. Soon, the rust will be gone, these aching internal muscles will be healed and bulging and then sonorous prose will flow from these fingertips. soon.

Did i forget to mention that her unmatched wit and depth of meaning are not limited to prose, she is quiet the poet too.
In ending, a Poem by her.

Siren song

This is the one song everyone
would like to learn: the song
that is irresistible:

the song that forces men
to leap overboard in squadrons
even though they see the beached skulls

the song nobody knows
because anyone who has heard it
is dead, and the others can’t remember.

Shall I tell you the secret
and if I do, will you get me
out of this bird suit?

I don’t enjoy it here
squatting on this island
looking picturesque and mythical

with these two feathery maniacs,
I don’t enjoy singing
this trio, fatal and valuable.

I will tell the secret to you,
to you, only to you.
Come closer. This song

is a cry for help: Help me!
Only you, only you can,
you are unique

at last. Alas
it is a boring song
but it works every time.

See you soon, when my weary wounded ego and rusty pen have recoverd.

ciao

me

Image credit Shutterhack

Here it is, the promised update on my rather exciting life, for which you have been patiently and eagerly waiting. Thank you for being such nice fans. I am flattered. I hope none of you are upset because I am just simply unable to reply to all the fan mail I get, so if you have been un-replied to, forgive me, and be assured that your affection and admiration keeps me going.

• I have flown for the first time. I loved the acceleration for take off, like in a roller coaster going down, only in reverse and much more costly.
• One of my cousins is sadly no longer among us. He is not dead, but was recently married.
• I have become the only doctor in my hospital, and so from medical officer, have been promoted to “doctor in-charge”, which mostly means that I see patients after clinic hours and even on sundays.
• I have completely settled into Ubuntu life and am even forgetting my windows days. Ii any of you want to shift over to linux, NOW is the time.
• I am being plagued by severe power shortage, and un-scheduled power cuts, resulting in me having to hit the bed by nine, latest by ten on most days.
• I have finished reading two more of Margret Atwood’s marvelous novels and am in more awe of her than ever. After the robber bride, i like alias grace most
• Read an Ian Rankin novel and I loved its morbidity. its strange that I like all things morbid except Stephen King.
• Discovered the project why blog. PW is an NGO that is working among slum children in an innovative and powerful way.Why is that important? because I need reminders and inspiration, and the blog has both.
• I have known what it is like to be out of money. The flying cost  me all of my savings and here I was at the airport, hungry, light walleted, the cheapest item costing more than half my remaining cash. so I chose to drink black coffee, which, cost less than the sandwich and owing to caffeine suppresses hunger well.
• I have discovered a gastronomical delight in a paav bhaji stall in belgaum.If you are ever passing through balgaum in the evening, as for hotel ramdev and opposite it you will see a crowd, dive right in and enjoy a round of hot paav with spicy curry, go over to the chaat stall and have some shevpuri and then top it off with a falooda at the sweet stall.
• Firefox has made it into the guiness book or world records for having the maximum downloads ever on a single day, and yes, I was instrumental in them achieving this. Don’t you just love open source:-)

Well then, farewell till the next time, when i hope i will be able to write more. The power has gone, and will return only tomorrow morning, so the other two posts will have to wait.

Ciao

Me

Photo credit kina3

Oh stop! I wanted to scream. But I didn’t.  I held myself back. And I held myself in. Realizing suddenly that if I didn’t, everything inside me would fall out of the hole.  And in that moment, I separated my vagina from me.

From The Vagina Dialogues

Very very very brave. She sets out to be united with her vagina. to face hurt and be restored.

Very brave.

I don’t have a vagina, but I know that feeling. sort of.

I am gonna wait around for man-gina monologue.

ciao

schizo

photo uploaded by Dale Hameister. Thank you Dale

I killed an adult Indian cobra today. I feel like shit.

She had found her way into the house of one of the ward boys. found a little gap between the rafter and the asbestos roof and sat there stubbornly reusing to come out or run away.

I had not seen her enter the recess, when I shone my torch I could barely make out a brown body and a sleek head. I thought she was a rat snake. So we started putting in sticks and prodding it to fall down, but she refused to budge. I suggested we leave her alone and allow her to come out and find her way home, of course that was rather impractical, seen they wished to sleep under that roof.

The ward boy, Dattu, came up with the idea of smoking her out so i pushed in a burning rag, soaked in kerosene, she fidgeted and poked her head out a bit, i was scared, and the rickety ladder i stood on wobbled, almost took me to the ground. So Dattu did what I didn’t have stones to do, he went up close and shoved the torch into her face, “naag naag” he shouted as she rose to strike. but still clung onto the stick and came down slowly when it went out. Our cobra was very much alive and still in there. Then Dattu decided that plain old smoking was not enough, so he made a torch and set the poor thing to fire, while I stood by, shining the torch into the recess and prodding her to make her fall down.

She didn’t. she was stuck, so she burned to death.

Then I climbed up again, dislodged her and brought her down for the world the ogle her. Showed them all the markings. Opened her mouth and showed them her sharp lifeless fangs.

Another majestic predator is dead, another hundred rodents will live on to ruin crops and spread illness.

And I have proven myself to be a coward, again.

I could really use some rum now.

ciao

schizo

PS: Yes, that’s me, I know I need a haircut, and yep its me again, displaying her mark. No, I will not tell you how I determined her gender.