For six long years I have been bitching about my course and job, as a expression of my constant and persistent feeling of being out of place in the medical system. In spite of trying real hard I have never felt at home in the system, not that I didn’t like or enjoy anything but the thought of doing it for the rest of my life was always too stifling. And so, Some time in my second year I decided that if I did pursue future education it would be purely to keep family and friends happy and my stomach full. Not for passion, as medicine and passion for me seemed absolute contradictions, but out of need. But as much as my resolve may be, the constant thought of why I landed in such a good place if was to hate all of it kept coming, to me, leading to a large part of the existential anguish that has been poured out in honesty and jest on the blog. This was of course till last week.
As part of our internship we are allowed to select two postings two weeks long each. This posting is generally taken to get some much needed free time, so mostly people choose departments that really don’t need interns and don’t expect much from them either.
That I have always liked psychology is something you might have noticed if you have been regular on the blog, and if you know me, so because of that and a suggestion made by the best friend once in passing that I would make a good psychiatrist (which I remembered only now, see, psycho sub conscious stuff already) made me take psych as my first elective.
From the first day I was under the wing so to say of a consultant who is also a good friends mom (and a really really nice Christian), I am sure it’s partly her influence, but as soon as I began, I knew I was going o enjoy it, and two days into the posting I was practically delirious with joy, I felt at home and at ease I LOVED being there, the pace of the job, the mental challenge of the job both so appealed to me. for the first time in years I was content and happy to be a doctor. Talk about a burden being lifted. Such clarity of thought is never been my experience.

In short, a large part of my existential angst is suddenly lifted, I am reasonably sure that i want to specialize in psych.

In short the mental health department made a future shrink out of the Schizo.

Now, I know what bubbly means!!!

Bless y’all

schizo

Photocredits: sean dreilinger, spotted-dog-inc and ucumari