It hurts, it sucks, it’s unfair, its real, it’s irreversible, it changes everything for a while and nothing for very long, it makes me angry, it makes me cry, it makes me search for a dark empty place inside me to shut away all the emotions, it screams at me when I call my best friends, it chases away my confidence.
I feel angry at the guy who corrected the paper, yet I know it changes nothing. Failure as it self is just beginning to hurt, as if the loneliness it produced were not enough. Maybe I should go to vellore and face my fears and sorrows meet my friends who were lucky. Be in the middle of that concrete jungle knowing and remembering that I should have been working now instead of grieving. Or maybe I should be at home recuperating from heaven knows what.
The rhythm of my life has been reset but the tune is the same. I need to learn to keep up with the rhythm and stop trying to compensate for the missed beats.
It changes all and yet it changes nothing, I hope so.
Ciao
Schizo
2 responses so far ↓
1 Soul searching Blog Digest - Rantings of an unstable mind // Oct 29, 2006 at 12:26 am
[...] I feel angry at the guy who corrected the paper, yet I know it ch … I was very impressed by this post. Hope to see more stuff from author.Link to original article [...]
2 nelsonnium // Nov 9, 2006 at 4:27 pm
i hurt too bro…
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